


Maybe I've Wronged You (I'm Sorry)

by Jauxter



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Apologies, Complicated Emotions, Crying, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, Tommy is a tad fucked up mental health wise, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, cringe amirite, technoblade has a heart, they talk about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28627881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jauxter/pseuds/Jauxter
Summary: "Why the hell are you here, when I made it so clear I didn't want to see you again?" Techno's voice would sound indifferent to an outsider, but there was undoubtedly a hint of carefully concealed hurt and animosity leaking through."I don't know if you've heard, but I'll be fighting someone tomorrow," Tommy replied with false merriment, knocking his knuckles on his helmet absently, "someone you may have heard of, a man by the name of Dream?”---Tommy's apology, but he's more earnest and sad, and Techno still cares more than he lets on.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 665





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> aka I am both a tommy and techno apologist and am incapable of writing Canon accurate dynamics

Technoblade was never one for confronting his emotions, and he never planned to change that. 

No matter how many people claimed otherwise, he knew he wasn’t heartless. Years of war would teach anyone to guard their heart with impenetrable walls; being the physical embodiment of the god of blood and violence certainly wasn’t doing him any favors.

He would never let anyone in on his actual feelings, because feelings indicated weaknesses, and weakness meant leverage. He would sooner spawn a Wither on his own house than let his attachments be used against him.

He could love and he could hurt— and perhaps that _was_ his greatest weakness.

He loved Phil, his father figure and best friend. Phil, the most kind yet most chaotic man he’d ever met. Phil, who only had one life, once chance before ~~leaving him for good~~ getting stuck in permadeath.

He’d loved Wilbur, his brother in all but blood. Wilbur, the very first person to show him kindness from the day they’d met as kids. Wilbur, who had known him better than he ever would know himself. Wilbur, who was now dead, fallen captive to his own insanity and cursed to walk the land as a husk of who he once was. ~~Wilbur, who he’d sat and watched spiral into madness and done nothing to stop, which hurt like nothing else.~~

He’d loved Tommy, once the brightest ~~and most annoying~~ person he’d ever known. Tommy, who had idolized him since childhood, who had always put so much faith in him. Tommy, who had somehow managed to make him crack a smile in the worst of times. Tommy, who had used him more than once, then left him to rot, had left him hurting. ~~Tommy, who had come to him at his weakest moments, too scared to truthfully tell him what had happened to him.~~

His poor, misfit family; so far from perfect, the remains ripped to shreds by war and betrayal, by old wounds and new— one of them dead, one likely on his way, and last pushing his luck. Not looking good for the future, if Techno did say so himself.

He couldn’t help but wonder how much longer it would take four to become one. 

\---

It was cold where Techno laid in his cabin, the fire from the night before having long gone out. The coolness of the air soothed his headache, brought on by incessant chatter of the voices in his mind. They were louder than they had been since Doomsday, seemingly having found something new to incomprehensibly ramble about, going as far to wake him up at the ass-crack of dawn.

_‘He’s gonna die lmao…’_

_‘Hope he’ll leave for good this time…’_

_‘Help him…!’_

_‘E..!’_

Techno pressed the palms of his hands to his forehead and groaned. The sun hadn’t even risen, yet his chat had the audacity to rouse him over something undoubtedly pointless. 

“Don’t you have anything better to do than bother me, chat?”

The tidal wave of no’s that bounced around his skull were enough of an answer. With a resigned sigh, he pushed himself out of bed, tail flicking back and forth in annoyance.

The chatter resumed, rising in volume ever so slightly as he dressed, frenzied whispers of _‘he’s coming!’_ occasionally audible.

“What do you mean? Who’s comin’?” Techno muttered frustratedly as he tugged his cape over his shoulders. He was met with a wall of garbled comments, unable to get a straight answer. 

With a huff, he jumped down the ladder and sauntered into the main room. He had just picked up his sword, when suddenly he heard a distinctive, loud thunk from the brewing room, followed immediately by muffled cursing. He froze, head snapping to the origin of the sound, hands tightening around the sword’s grip.

With practiced stealth, Techno moved silently across the cool hardwood floor, sweeping through the doorway before the intruder could even turn around. The figure was hunched over an open chest, sorting through it; he waited until they stood up straight, before darting forwards and pushing the tip of the blade to the back of their neck.

“ _State your intent_ ,” He snarled out as their hands shot up in surrender, breath catching.

“Shit,” They muttered, and Techno’s blood ran cold.

“Tommy?” Tommy laughed nervously.

“Yep, that’s- that’s my name,” He stuttered, hands shaking a bit. “Now Technoblade, I, uh, know this looks worse than it is, but I’d really like it if you didn’t shank me today.”

Slowly, Techno lowered his sword and allowed him to turn around. As soon as he faced him, the sword was pointed back in Tommy’s face, his eyes going a bit cross as he attempted to stare it down.

Techno took note of Tommy’s brand new set of netherite armor, polished and shining with enchantments, runes sloppily engraved on the edges— clearly made by Tommy himself.

"Why the hell are you here, when I made it so clear I didn't want to see you again?" Techno's voice would sound indifferent to an outsider, but there was undoubtedly a hint of carefully concealed hurt and animosity leaking through. Tommy gently moved the sword away with the back of his hand, and Techno didn't bother to move it back.

"I don't know if you've heard, but I'll be fighting someone tomorrow," Tommy replied with false merriment, knocking his knuckles on his helmet absently, "someone you may have heard of, a man by the name of Dream?”

Techno fell silent, expression blank despite the gears in his brain beginning to spin. Tommy’s demeanor suddenly took an uncharacteristic shift, hands falling to mess with the hem of his shirt.

“But, I realized something, and I don't think it would be right of me to not do anything about it,” He muttered, gaze flicking to the floor. Techno scoffed.

“What makes you think I care?” He crossed his arms as Tommy gave a humorless laugh.

“I honestly _don’t_ expect you to care,” he muttered, “but I figured if I’m going to die, I might as well try to tie up some loose ends, you know?”

Tommy took a deep, shuddering breath, shoulders slumping as he exhaled. 

“I know I’ve wronged you Technoblade. I really, really fucked things up with us didn’t I?” He started, eyebrows knitting together, “You took me in at every cost to yourself, and in the end I, well… I threw it back in your face.”

Despite the gleaming netherite armor bulking him up, Techno couldn’t help but notice that Tommy looked small. He looked tired, eyebags prominent and mouth pulled into a slight frown. His eyes had dulled once again, never having quite regained their optimistic spark. ~~He almost looked like Wilbur, just before he succumbed to his madness; just before his death.~~

“I’m tired of this, Techno,” Tommy’s hand came up to rest on the back of his neck, rubbing absently, “I don’t want to fight anymore, as funny as that is coming from me. After all, I’ve only ever caused fighting, haven’t I?”

Tommy paused for a moment, looking at Techno before diverting his gaze again. He adjusted his grip on his sword, studying Tommy with a cold expression.

“You don’t know that you’re gonna die, Tommy; these things aren’t set in stone,” Techno gestured to Tommy’s armor, “Clearly you’ve got some help if you’ve got all this.” 

Tommy stared at the floor, before shaking his head.

“I got these by myself,” he scoffed, “I’ve barely slept since, well…” 

Tommy’s eyes glazed over for a moment, before he shook his head once again. With a grimace, ran a hand over the top of his helmet.

“Doesn’t matter. But, Techno, do you _really_ think that I’ll survive a fight with Dream?” Tommy murmured, looking away.

“Well, I mean, don’t you have friends or something to back you up—” Techno was cut off by a sudden frustrated groan.

“No! I don’t!” Tommy sneered, gesticulating angrily with his hands, “Everyone thinks I blew up the stupid fucking Comunity House! They think I’m the only reason we’re still fighting this damn war.” 

“Nobody gives a shit if I die tomorrow, Technoblade. Some of them are actively trying to kill me for a crime I didn’t commit.” 

Tommy let out a shuddering sigh, before crumpling in on himself, the tension leaking out of his body.

“I’m not stupid, Technoblade, despite what you may think,” He laughed bitterly, “I know I won’t be able to sway anyone this time. Besides Tubbo, I know I’m alone in this.”

“Then why are you here, Tommy.” Techno growled with a white-knuckled grip on his sword, chat’s whispers becoming whitenoise as he focused on the boy in front of him.

“It feels like I’m fighting everyone in this land for reasons that I can’t control, but I know it’s my own fault you hate me,” Tommy took his helmet off his head, and held it to his chest with shaking fingers, “I’m sorry Techno. Truly and sincerely, I am sorry.”

Techno scoffed, narrowing his eyes at Tommy.

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.” He muttered, crossing his arms. Before he had time to react, Tommy darted out and grabbed him by the collar, staring up at him with an expression of anger and pain and a plethora of other emotions Techno couldn’t read. 

“I fucking know that! I know that better than anyone!” He shouted, “Sorry doesn’t make what Wilbur did to me just go away! Sorry doesn’t take back the weight of Tubbo’s decision to exile me! _Sorry doesn’t take back the fact that you teamed up with the man who beat me, who blew up my few belongings, who told me that no one gave a shit about me!_ ”

Tommy pushed Techno back, stumbling back to the ground himself, back against the still open chest, fists pressed against the dark floor. 

Techno was rendered speechless as he began to comprehend the weight of the last comment; as he processed everything Tommy had just said.

“I know I fucked up Techno, but I know you fucked up as well,” Tommy almost whispered, expression hidden by the shadows cast by the rising sun through the windows, “We both fucked up, but I’ll say it again— I’m sorry for all the things I think I did wrong. I’m so, so fucking sorry.”

“I can barely handle fighting Dream, I don’t want to fight you too.”

Tommy’s voice broke, and his hands came to rest over his face. The only sounds that permeated the small room were Tommy’s heaving breaths and the quiet drip of tears onto the hardwood floor, echoing off the light stone walls. Techno was frozen in his spot, the most conflicting emotions he'd felt in a long time rendering his limbs useless.

As much as he wanted to hate Tommy, as much as Tommy had hurt him, he couldn’t bring himself to. It would be considered pathetic, crying for mercy at the feet of someone you had betrayed, but to his surprise, Techno felt nothing but _bad_.

It struck him then, that despite how much Tommy was made out to be a stupid child, he was only considered as such when it was convenient. He wasn’t a child when he fought in wars, when he gave two of his precious lives for a country that grew to hate him, when he was punished harshly for making a mistake, when others had done far worse things and got off scott-free. 

Tommy was only a child when it was convenient for others. An unattainable standard had been set for him, and each time he had failed to reach it, he'd been punished.

He was a kid not built for battle, but had survived through more war and heartbreak than most adults ever would.

A shaky voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“I’m more than happy to try to fix things, to reimburse you— if I live to see tomorrow night—” Tommy cut himself off with a choked-back sob, putting his helmet back on his head, “which I strongly doubt at this point. I took some potions, but I promise I’ll pay you back if I survive.”

During their time together after Tommy’s exile, he had neither willingly apologized or cried in front of him. Not a single time had so much vulnerability been shown on Tommy’s end— 

So as Tommy stood before him, face blotchy and stained with tears, Techno wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell him that he had never wanted him hurt, that he wished it could go back to how it was when they were kids ~~Tommy still _was_ a kid~~. He wanted to comfort him, to tell him he’d take on Dream himself.

Despite himself, he could feel the wall he’d been carefully rebuilding begin to cave.

Instead, he turned away.

“Leave, Tommy. You got what you came for.” He inwardly winced at his own tone, but didn’t yield. His shoulders were slumped, his sword discarded on the ground; Techno had never been so tired.

With dull, tear-brimmed eyes, Tommy quickly pushed past him, dashing through the main room and to the front door.

“Goodbye, Technoblade.” He whispered, barely audible, and took off into the bright snow, the morning sun reflecting off the ice crystals. Techno watched him go, a melancholy he’d never admit to feeling seeping into his bones, knowing that he may never see his brother again.

“Goodbye, Tommy. Good luck.”

No one would know if his hands trembled as he shut the door. No one would know if he took a red and gold disc from the bottom of one of his chests and placed it in his ender chest instead.

No one would know if the god of blood and violence mourned a family that had long been broken, that would likely do nothing but shatter further.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus chapter because I couldn't just end on that :)

The day crawled by at snail's pace after Tommy left, the morning’s events having left a bad taste in Techno’s mouth. As he worked through the daily chores, he allowed himself to truly and honestly think about Tommy, something he’d blatantly ignored doing since they’d last interacted on Doomsday.

With most people, he had a pretty solid stance on where he was with them relationship-wise. Most people were either afraid of him or wanted him dead, so it usually was an easy distinction to make. The very few people he trusted (i.e. Phil) had proven themselves more than worthy of his loyalty and vulnerability, and in return would be given his loyalty.

Techno’s opinions of people tended to be rather black-and-white— either he had no attachment to them, and therefore had no qualms killing or otherwise maiming them, or he would fight the world for them. There was very, very little in-between, and Chat made sure that it would stay that way.

Tommy, however, was a special case.

At first glance, Tommy was everything Techno despised— he was loud, stubborn, and childish, among other traits that often got him into trouble, even when he was younger. Yet he’d still taken him in, had let him leech off his supplies at seemingly no gain to himself. 

The fact of the matter was, even after two betrayals, Techno still cared about Tommy. Yes he was hurt, yes he was angry, but real, genuine hatred was not what he felt. 

On one hand, Tommy had used him; had gained his trust only to rip it to shreds before his eyes. On the other, Tommy was undeniably still a kid; a child forced into war, who he now knew had withstood more traumatic experiences than most adults could ever imagine. Techno could imagine that the way he made decisions was bound to be fucked up at this point.

Their relationship was, and always would be, a bit of an enigma. 

Tommy may be annoying and impulsive, and he may make terrible choices sometimes, but Techno could never bring himself to truly hate him. Not after watching him grow up, not after what Wilbur did to him, and certainly not after what Dream had done ~~what Dream would soon do~~.

Even after felling enough trees to have firewood all winter (and then some), Techno slept incredibly poorly that night; the jarring image of his brother on the ground, tears running down his cheeks, dripping to the floor as repressed emotions came spilling forth was still fresh in his mind.

Not for a second did his Chat fall silent, reduced to constant whispers of _Tommy, Tommy, Tommy_ , never quite seeming to let up completely. 

The next day had been much the same— with Phil already absent and Ranboo leaving early in the day to "attend to some business" , Techno was left to his own devices.

He went about his day as well as he could, frequently distracted by the numerous conversations bouncing around his skull. After failing several times to fix the recurring issues with his bee farm, he decided to sit with the survivors of his once great hound army just as the sun reached its peak.

He cracked the barest of smiles as he pushed open the door to the doghouse, many heads swiveling to face him, tails beginning to thump on the floor excitedly. It gave him some relief to sit in the center of the pack; several wet, snuffling noses pressed against his hands and arms offering a welcome distraction from the frustrating comments of Chat and his own god forsaken pondering.

After almost a full day of radio silence from his communicator, Ranboo finally came sprinting over the horizon, stumbling back to his home in a panic. Techno managed to catch him before he left, leaning against a fence post beside Ranboo's small garden.

"What's the rush?" Techno asked, eyes narrowed as he watched Ranboo attempt to grab items from his chest and strap on his chestplate simultaneously. 

"Oh you know," He said, slightly out of breath, "something important just came up. Nothing you'd be worried about, I'm sure."

"Hm? I'm sure it can't be that dull." Techno proded, feigning indifference even as his stomach dropped. Ranboo gave a nervous laugh, fumbling for his scabbard.

"It's just that, uh well, there's this thing going on today, and if things went south I said I would…" He trailed off, flinching when his communicator fell from his pocket and hit the floor. He bent to pick it up, grimacing as he caught sight of the screen.

"I'm sorry Techno, it's just a bit uh... just a little complicated, and I don't have time to explain right now," he mumbled, grabbing his trident off the top of a chest and walking past Techno, beginning to jog into the tundra, "I'll tell you when I get back, I swear."

Techno sighed as he watched Ranboo’s retreating form, something heavy settling in his stomach. For the first time in a while, Chat was quiet.

\---

Techno sat by the fireplace that night, communicator in one hand, the other running through the fur of his cape. Though he’ll never admit it, he was restless; his hoof tapping incessantly against the floor, ears twitching at every thump or rattle from outside— even the crackle of the fire was stretching his patience thin.

A ping from his communicator in the quiet jostled him. Eyes fall to the screen, his hope for the outcome divided.

_Dream was slain by TommyInnit using [The Axe of Peace]_

Techno let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, shoulders rolling forward slightly, communicator soon discarded beside him. His eyes fell closed for only a moment, shooting wide in surprise when another ping rings out.

_Dream was slain by TommyInnit using [The Axe of Peace]_

He let out a huff, leaning back again with a hand over his eyes. 

_Dream needed to be taken down a peg anyway._

A smile crossed his face for the briefest of moments, before returning to a scowl as a voice helpfully pointed out that Tommy, in fact, did still have the Axe of Peace. Techno shook his head a bit and tossed the communicator aside again. 

_Maybe I can work with this…_

\---

Techno spent the next morning at his turtle farm. Now that wartime had mostly passed, he had no need for the turtles and their scutes. Despite this fact, he found himself returning frequently, just to watch as they drift lazily about in their pond.

He let the excited buzzing of Chat fade to background noise, allowing his mind to roam where it wants as he did his best to clean up a bit.

His thoughts came to a halt as he spotted two figures on the snowy horizon, one leaning heavily on the other. The one playing support was tall enough to be recognizable as Ranboo, and from the stumbling footsteps and loud laughter, he definitely had a guess as to who the other was.

Techno took his time walking back to stand on his porch, leaning against the railing as he waited for the two to meet him.

Soon, they came to stand a few paces apart, Tommy not quite making eye contact, suddenly quiet. Ranboo gently let go of him and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Hey Techno,” He smiled a bit nervously, “Tommy just said he just wanted to, ah, give you some things," he began to back away, slowly turning around, "I suppose I'll just- I'll leave you to it…" 

Ranboo half-jogged back toward his home and Techno watched him for a moment, before his eyes locked back on Tommy, who shifted uncomfortably under scrutiny.

He was scraped and bruised head to toe, not dressed for the arctic whatsoever. His armor was absent, a clean red and white shirt in its place. He was bandaged everywhere— on his face, arms, legs, even his torso is bulked up with gauze. His knee was bent by a brace and fresh burns creeped down his face, to his neck, and under his shirt collar, irritating old blast scars. Two axes were strapped to his belt, and a trident was strapped to his back. 

Tommy cleared his throat.

“So…” He drew out, bandaged hand coming to rub at the back of his neck with a wince.

“So.” Techno replied shortly, arms crossed over his chest, fighting the temptation to drop his facade (that definitely isn't there). Tommy seemed to flounder for a moment, before taking a breath and collecting himself.

“So, I know I _probably_ didn’t leave us on the best note the other day, what with me stealing from you again and all, you know, _that_ ,” Techno scoffed at that, eyes narrowed. Tommy held up a hand. “But, I can confidently say I remember at least one thing I said.”

With a slightly pained expression, he unhooked a bundle from his belt and held it out to Techno. After letting Tommy awkwardly shift his weight for a moment, he took it and loosened the drawstring. Inside were some simple potion brewing materials and some enderpearls, exactly enough to replace what he’d taken the day prior.

“I didn’t have any time to actually brew pots, since they wouldn’t let me out of that damned medical tent,” Tommy explained, fiddling with his hands, “I had to force them to let me out, you know? And I just—”

Techno held up a hand, cutting off his rambling.

“It’s fine, Tommy. I can see why they didn’t want you out.” 

Tommy laughed nervously, tipping his head down for a moment.

“And uh, I came to apologize. Again. Since I kinda figured that it would be more meaningful if I wasn’t so…” He waved his hand around, face scrunching up a bit, “if I wasn’t so scrambled, I guess.”

Techno waited patiently as Tommy fumbled for one of the axes on his belt, dutifully ignoring the rising volume of the Chat.

Tommy took another deep breath, lightly running his fingers along the flat of the axe with an expression that he can’t quite read. 

"I'm sorry Techno. For leeching off you, for stealing shit all the time, for taking your trust for granted, for using you, and for all the other fucked up things I did," He smiled bitterly, "because god knows I've made plenty of shit decisions in my time here."

Techno was stunned by Tommy's rare bout of self-awareness— it's one thing for him to apologize during a breakdown, but to come back, clear headed, and apologize _again_? It was almost unthinkable.

Tommy’s gaze wandered for a moment, before settling on the ground in front of him.

“As much as it pains me to let go of this, it’s not really mine, is it?” He began to shiver slightly, flipping the axe around to offer the handle to Techno, “I said I was worthy, but now that I think about it, I was a bit of an asshole, wasn’t I? Consider it a peace offering, yeah?”

Techno stared at the Axe of Peace, the olive branch offered to him, barely able to think over Chat's excited chattering and shouting. Slowly, he reached out and grasped the handle, Tommy relinquishing his grip and allowing the weight to settle in his hand for the first time in weeks. It was heavy, but not entirely in the way he remembered it to be.

The Axe of Peace was now a weapon of death. Not only had it taken two lives, but they had been taken from one of the most powerful people Techno had ever known.

_A god to some, but now clearly only a man— a mortal, just like the rest of them._

"Dream's been locked up, by the way," Tommy said, a bit of a familiar mischievous glint coming to his eye, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

Techno… doesn’t know how to feel about that. 

Dream was a mystery to most people, including Techno himself. Friendly at one moment, his crossbow to your chest the next— he was a master of manipulation and damn good at hiding his true intentions. The mere thought of being manipulated and exploited by the man was abhorrent. He may pride himself on his perception, but someone as deceptive as Dream could prove to be a problem. 

Technoblade was powerful, but he’d be a fool to believe Dream was an easy opponent. Keeping on his good side was crucial, but that didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. Yes, their short-term goals had aligned, but there were conflicts in their morals that couldn’t be swept aside. He was willing to briefly cooperate, but there would never be any real loyalty.

For now, he settles on feeling relieved.

"Oh. Okay." 

" _’Okay’_? That's all?" Tommy asked, surprised, “Nothing else?”

"Well, yeah,” Techno muttered, choosing to keep his opinions to himself, “I didn't really care much about him. Even though we allied for a day, the guy was clearly fucked up if he obsessed over _you_ of all people..."

"Oh." Tommy’s brows furrowed and he brought a hand up to rub at the bandages on his cheek. Techno can’t help but wish he’d jabbed back, like he would have before.

A tense silence fell between them, Tommy with an unreadable expression and Techno slowly beginning to wish he was anywhere else.

"So what are you plannin' on doin' now? Joinin' another faction?" He asked, not noticing the threatening tone that had crept into his voice. Tommy flinched at the question, posture faltering for a second.

"I think I've had enough of those, actually,” He said, scuffing the heel of his shoe into the snow. “I think I'll stay away from all these countries and politics and wars and whatnot.” A breeze blew by and Tommy tugged at his sleeves, “I've had my fun, but, well, you see where the government got me the first time. I think I've had enough of that."

"So you're neutral now? Non-violent?" Techno eyes widened a little in surprise; he can’t say he was expecting that, certainly not from Tommy. 

Tommy laughed at that, a bit of the tension leaving the air.

"Fuck no, man! I mean yes, I’m neutral, but a pacifist?” He said with a grin on his face, “No, no, you have to understand— you can take TommyInnit out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of TommyInnit."

Techno resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. The silence returned for a moment, Tommy’s demeanor beginning to dampen once more.

"Though, I think I'll try to avoid conflict for now,” He said, suddenly looking away, “I only just got my discs back, I might as well try to stretch the peace as much as I can, right?"

Tommy stared out at the snowy landscape with a thoughtful expression, something sad lurking in his gaze. He sighed, rubbing his hands together as another gust of wind went by.

"Our morals may not align, Technoblade, but I understand where you come from and can _somewhat_ respect that,” He said, voice suddenly taking on a much more somber tone, “I'm still pretty fucked up from this whole shitshow, and I can definitely say I'm still pissed at you, but I… I don’t want to have this… this _aching_ feeling whenever you’re brought up.”

Techno didn’t respond, Chat divided by his vulnerability—

_’Guilty…’_

<’He feels bad?’

_’Awww, look how sad he looks!’_

_’Serves him right…’_

Tommy huffed with frustration and dejection. 

“I know I should be happy, now that I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted, but—” He paused for a breath, attempting to scrub at his eyes discreetly. “I can’t help but feel like I’m missing some things. _Big_ things.”

Techno sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

_Why does this have to be so complicated?_

"Tommy, you know I can’t forgive you—" Techno started, before getting cut off by a cough from Tommy. He suddenly seemed defensive, tensing up like a cornered animal.

"Right, um, sorry. I, uh… I didn't expect anything less.” He muttered out hurriedly, “I think I’ve taken up enough of your time, I should see myself out then—"

Tommy began to stumble back, tripping over his feet. Techno grabbed him by the wrist, mindful of the bandages.

"Wait, stop— You didn't let me finish.” He stared down at him, the smallest of pained expressions on his face “Look at me, Tommy.”

Tommy reluctantly met his gaze, eyes shining with unshed tears. He didn't try to pull away, but Techno could feel him shivering, cold and tense with anxiety. He looked younger than he has in months— Techno felt something crumble in him at the sight.

“I don’t forgive you right now, but I can see that you’re trying to change. You hurt me, and I’ll be the first to admit that; but you’re still a kid, and you still make stupid decisions. That’s how kids learn after all— but you were never allowed that luxury.”

Tommy’s eyes widened in surprise, mouth falling open to say something; but before he could get anything out, his knees abruptly buckled, causing him to pitch forward slightly. Techno caught him under the arms before he could fall. 

“I hate that you did those things, I hate it _so_ much; but Tommy... I don’t hate _you_.”

Tommy stood in stunned silence, opening and closing his mouth a few times more times. After a moment, his shoulders slumped and he stumbled forward into Techno, arms coming to wrap around his middle. 

Techno froze, caught off guard and conflicted, before carefully returning the embrace, resting his face on top of Tommy’s head. 

“I’m sorry.” Tommy mumbled into the front of Techno’s shirt, muffled by the fabric. He sighed.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was an ok ending! Sorry it took so long, the quick change in tone on the server gave me emotional whiplash so this took me a few tries to get right. This isn't how I originally wanted this to end, but I’ve been fiddling with this for a couple days and if I don’t stop I’m going to crumble into dust, so I apologize for any errors/incomprehensibility on my end.
> 
> Kudos/comments are well appreciated, but no pressure friend :)

**Author's Note:**

> Boy this is awfully pretentious for the actual scene it's based on, but I saw an opportunity for pain and I took it. dunno what else I can say. Sorry if it's not great, I banged it out in 2 hours and liked the idea too much not to post it.
> 
> (let me know if you'd like a happy ending/comfort chapter because I'd be more than happy to write one! Even if this becomes irrelevant after the 20th!)
> 
> If you liked it, maybe leave a kudos/comment? No pressure, but its always appreciated :)


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